It could be something to do with the moon or maybe it’s the depressing fact that winter has once again reared it’s ugly, greying, blustery head over our beloved London town. Either way, it seems that everyone I’ve encountered has had a bit of a crayhem week this week but once again the glorious Friday has come to our rescue and the weekend is so very nearly here.

I for one used up my brain power quota early on this week so please let me rid you of some of those minutes you’ve been counting until your working day is over with some distracting ramblings requiring minimal concentration.

Knock knock. Who’s there? Winter…

No thank you. No thank you winter, not today. I’m a Vitamin D junkie and I’ve never been your biggest fan so instead I’m going stay indoors with the heating on dreaming about my next escape to the sun. Regardless of your seasonal preference, check out this link listing some of THE most baller hotels across the world which will make even your climate nemesis look glorious - I mean, who wouldn’t want to sleep in a snow globe?

My Sistine Chapel

As you may have seen, we finally have Patsy installed and in action and her cherry popping print was my ultimate labour of love: The By Hand London RGB Colour Guide. Ooooh. 5 days of inputting hex codes guys, 5 WHOLE DAYS. I’ve basically been making this my whole life so please be nice about it, even if you hate it, tell me she’s beautiful or I will cry.

Priorities

Speaking of firsts, I, Victoria Elliott, have completed my first ever knit project, and furthermore, it’s pink. In all honesty I don’t really like knitting, mainly because you can’t make and fix mistakes easily, and you run such a high risk of really ballsing up, but you know what I do like? Having friends. So, with one of my best pals expecting a baby in the New Year I decided to give it my best shot. I did struggle with the miniatureness of the needles because I have trotters instead of hands but with the patient guidance and hand holding of knit master Elisalex adapting the pattern she was using last week for her mini christmas stockings, I am proud to say I have made some teeny tiny baby socks. OMG SO CUTE.

Impatience is a virtue

Last time round I mentioned I was wedged in a bit of a sewing rut, don’t worry, I’m safe now, saved by the sheer desperation of not having anything to wear on a night out combined with the pure hatred of having to do laundry. The urgency of an empty beer hand meant I managed to whip this badboy up in about an hour from about 0.6m of spare wool. I started by making a waistband 1½ times the size of my waist measurement (check out our perfect waistband tutorial here) then cut a full width piece of fabric the finished length I wanted the skirt plus 1⅝ “ for hem and seam allowance. To make it even easier I finished the selvedges and hem before pleating the excess to fit the waistband and then stitching it to secure. I actually originally fastened the skirt with two buttons and buttonholes on the waistband, but I managed to put them in the wrong place so the kilt was sitting at an almost obscenely low hip height so ended up just using two big safety pins on the waistband that l convinced myself I liked way more which is great news! 

I wore the cheat kilt with a long sleeved, black, ribbed cropped top and my battered black boots and black bunched down socks. Also with my big vintage aviator jacket because I live in England and without it I would have actually died.

 

 

Sew Hoe

If there is one thing that making my own clothes to fit me (just about) has given me, it’s the balls to be able to wear whatever I feel like so I’ve recently decided to venture into latex. After advice from various sources I’ve made a somewhat informed decision to use a mixture of rubber cement and reinforced stitching to ensure the seams are strong enough to retain my weighty backside and hopefully refrain from looking like a sausage that’s been fried so long it’s about to burst out it’s skin and spray it’s fatty matter in your eyes. Anyway, I’m going to start easy with a super high waisted midi length pencil skirt with a back vent and if that goes well enough to level up I’ve got an Audrey Hepburn at the Torture Garden number in mind. If I can get my paws on some lightweight black mesh (any recommendations would be gratefully received) I want to make it into a super gathered midi skirt with latex waistband and bow fastening then pair that with a latex Kim bodice: living the video hoe dream. It may or may not look a little something like this, excuse my horrendous drawing resulting from my lack of patience and natural talent - if you squint a bit it looks better…

If this goes to plan, I’m going to get a little more ambitious - check out designer Atsuko Kudo who is my main inspiration in this field...

I’m thinking I could attempt something similar to the Paris Cup Pencil Dress using the Bralette Tube Dress by Ralph Pink, a fellow indie designer gem who I have recently discovered. With designs that are right up my alley, once I’ve nailed and recovered from the latex situation I’m totally going to attempt some of his amazing corset patterns...

(Dis)tasteful

So, when I said "I hate winter and everything about it so no thanks, I won’t participate" I may have lied a little. There are a limited number of wintry things I can dig such as festive themed snacks like a Greggs turkey, cranberry and stuffing pasty, mulled wine (wine but hot, what’s not to love?!) and the rediscovery of these verging on outrageous boots I bought for Christmas last year much to the dismay of my siblings (and all the other people I've ever met). Yeah I can’t walk in them because they keep my ankle in a locked upright position leading to me looking like some kind of small disoriented giraffe, and yeah, the narrow toe shape is moderately painful for my big fat ham feet but true love knows no bounds, and if looking like Kat Slater at the rodeo is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

Inspired by the boots of Christmas past I’ve been reestablishing my love affair with funk genius/style icon Bootsy Collins and the kind of voice that can say anything and make it sound sexy, I’m talking next level booty music so check it out.
WARNING: If you’re in a strict work environment maybe keep it on the down low, you don’t want to get reported for sounding like you’re watching 70’s soft porn.

Cheap kicks


Last of all, here's one of this weeks funny internet shenanigans for you...

 

 

Happy Friday lovers...x